


False Mirror

by Zygella



Series: r/NoSleep SU [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, r/nosleep subreddit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-17 16:30:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18102230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zygella/pseuds/Zygella
Summary: Have you ever had a lie so perfect, so foolproof, that you become that lie? Have you ever seen someone you thought you knew so well become a completely different person? So much that you don’t know who they are anymore? That you really never knew who they were?That’s not the person you know.





	False Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> Yellow's turn :)  
> These are less... scary and more existential crisis. It still fucks you up though!
> 
> Song: Boat Floating - Puddle of Infinity

Lies give birth to nightmares. Have you ever had a lie so perfect, so foolproof, that you become that lie? Have you ever seen someone you thought you knew so well become a completely different person? So much that you don’t know who they are anymore? That you really never knew who they were?

 

That’s not the person you know.

 

That’s a lie. A lie that was too perfect.

 

Yellow Diamond is a lie that  _ is  _ too perfect.

 

When Pink was shattered, I told myself over and over again that I had to be strong. I had to be the steel wall that was the lifeline for my fellow Diamonds. I had to be something I wasn’t. But I wouldn’t be able to become this. I knew this wasn’t me. But… I pushed it onto myself anyway. I didn’t know that the consequences would be this… terrifying.

 

I’m trapped. I’m trapped inside my own Gem and all I can do is watch as a lie controls my body and destroy the last meaningful relationship I had with another being. Blue. Through the facets of the gem on my-- its-- chest, hands pressed hard against my prison as if that would do me any good. I’m trapped.

 

All I can do is watch as she looks at my body in hurt and disgust, thinking it’s me being so emotionally detached,  _ Yellow, you’ve become so cut off and bitter, what’s happened to you? Ever since Pink… you’ve changed. It’s like I’ve lost both of you in one eon… I don’t know who you are anymore! _

 

I scream. I scream, I bang my fists against the facets of my gem that keep me prisoner. I wail, scream, shout, banging my fists again and again but nothing ever works. I can’t be heard, or seen, the lie has taken hold of me too strongly. I wish I’d never done this to myself. In the reach to be a strong example, to keep it together for my fellow kin, I’ve lost myself in a way that Blue and White would never know what’s happened. They think that I’ve really become mean and bitter, but this isn’t me. Please… this isn’t me. You can’t truly believe I’d become something like this…!

 

I feel so terrible. I hate this. I hate it, I hate how much regret I feel burning in my chest, I hate me. I did this and I don’t know how to undo it. I want control back, I want my Blue back, but this lie is taking everything away from me. It’s even taken myself away from me. I’m lost and alone. There is nothing I can do. I was Yellow Diamond, but now I’m no one.

 

The guilt and regret tears me apart. I can’t even breathe, with the amount of hell I’m living through. My body grins sickly sweet despite myself, and all I can do is watch. Everyone is suffering, and all I can do is watch.

 

It taunts me by talking aloud to me when it’s alone. Telling me how it very much enjoys destroying everything I ever cared about. I scream until my throat runs raw, but it never lets me free. It only laughs at my pain and desperation. I think it likes destroying me the most, turning me into a desperate, screaming, crying mess. I can’t save myself.

 

I’m scared, did you know? I’m so afraid. I feel so small and insignificant, like I don’t matter, and in a way, I don’t. I’m so afraid.... The self that I am trapped inside my Gem shivers in fear constant, tears rolling down my cheeks, arms wrapped around my frame like it would comfort me in any way. I can’t do anything but feel helpless.

 

I want to be in control again, I’d give anything. But I know it’s too late. There’s nothing in this universe that could save me from this fate. I failed to save Pink from hers, and now this is what I get. This is what I deserve….

 

I created a lie that bested me. And now I have to watch it take everything away from me as I plead endlessly with it, to no avail.

 

Please, Blue, White… I know you can’t hear me. I know you’ll never hear me. But this isn’t me. Please, don’t think badly of me now because of my mistake. I still love you both, even if you don’t love me anymore because of what my lie has done. I’ll never get to see you two smile at  _ me  _ again, never get to talk to you again, never get to make you laugh again…. My life is as good as over. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

 

I’m so sorry.

 

Forgive me.

 

Maybe one day, you can truly see me again. But my chances are slim to none. The lie has won. And now… I’m the truth that’s always so deeply hidden away, never to be spoken again.

**Author's Note:**

> If I can think of suiting plots I'll end up doing other characters from SU and not just the Diamonds
> 
> feed me reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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